DEAREST FEAR,

It's early February, and the excitement of the new year is falling flat like a pancake. Perhaps the well-wished intentions we excitedly set a few weeks ago seem already far from reach, too difficult, too impossible, too challenging...so the hell with it, let's give them up all at once.

I just want you to know it's OK. You are not alone.

It's just fear, that annoying (but very familiar) old "friend".

I often set such ridiculously high standards and goals for myself that I can never quite live up to my own standards, setting myself straight for failure and disappointment.

For January, I had set an ambitious target to start posting one video per week on my Slow Living social media...have you seen anything? No. Have I given up the idea? No. In fact, I have already produced 5 videos. But I've been finding a thousand excuses to procrastinate and delay posting. All of these can be summed up to one word: FEAR.

For me, procrastination often takes the form of "you are not good enough"....(you need to know more about a topic, acquire more knowledge, earn more credentials, do more online courses, get more expertise...) and so I spend a large chunk of my time studying online.

And then one morning you wake up at 43, realizing you could probably wall-paper-paint your entire toilet with all these diplomas, certificates, and other credentials.

Do I feel more competent and capable, looking at my wall of fame?: NO.

Even when I did exhaust the long list of diplomas available at my Cosmetic Sciences University in the UK, Perfecta gave me her unimpressed glance you're still too *incompetent*, *ignorant*, *inappropriate*, *unprepared*, *ridiculous*... (replace with your favorite depreciative, harsh, unkind, exaggerated negative statement).

Imposter syndrome is real.

No matter what fancy form it takes for you: imposter syndrome, unworthiness, lack of self-love, envy (others are better than me), anger (I can't make it happen because of...X-Y-Z), or good ol' self-sabotaging, it all comes down to fear.

But couldn't we just learn to live with fear, instead of giving up on our dreams or postponing them indefinitely? Is fear really all that bad?

I'm doing yet-another-online-course on Mindvalley, (don't judge me. There's still a missing piece on my toilet wall) called Speak and Inspire, and in the community section of the platform, a member posted this genius piece of writing on fear, from Elizabeth Gilbert.

That's my February gift to you. Especially if you've fucked some important goals, like me:

Dearest Fear:

Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I do acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that your take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to do anything interesting – and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and I will never exclude you from our activities, but still – your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.”

Elizabeth Gilbert - Big Magic

Love Always,

Audrey